Lauren Elizabeth Pacenta - Online Memorial Website

I woke up on Sunday, November 23, 2014 thinking of you as I do every day. I thought to myself that the 23rd was just another day on the calendar. I would be OK. So many little things happened that just brought me to my knees in pain and anger. The day was filled with all sorts of emotions and tears, always tears. As I sat in church, I realized that  I felt betrayed by God. Where was he when we needed him? I was angry at people, no one in particular, just angry. I miss you so much it hurts.

 I always order flowers for the altar on or near your anniversary date, but when I walked into the Sanctuary that morning, the pedastals were bare, no flowers. I ran around the church looking for them, hoping they came too late to put out. There were no flowers and I don't even know if I can put into words what I felt. There were feelings of emptiness, my throat constricting, I couldn't breathe, and it almost felt like walking into that Sanctuary for your memorial service.  Such a little thing, it seems, but I learned that the flowers are very important to me and to your memory. 

The 23rd of November is not just another day on the calendar.