Lauren Pacenta Memorial website
This memorial website was created with love to remember our dearest Lauren Elizabeth Pacenta who was born in United States New York on October 4, 1988 and passed away on November 23, 2005 at the tender age of 17. You will live forever in our memories and hearts dear Lauren.
Lauren was the only child of Jo-Ann Pacenta and the late Edward K. Pacenta. She was a 7 pound miracle who brought tremendous joy into our lives. Our lives changed with the birth of this beautiful baby, and we treasured her from the moment she was born.
I will always feel truly blessed to be her mother. She was a very kind, thoughtful, loving daughter. She gave me beautiful, thoughtful gifts, wrote special notes, poems and letters to me. We enjoyed being together, and I have so many special memories. We shared so much, both the happiness and the heartaches. When her father passed away, and I would cry, she would hug me and say, "but you still have me." Oh how I wish that were still true. I miss her every moment of every day. She truly was the light of my life and filled my heart with love.
Time moves in such strange ways now, all the days, weeks, and months, just blend together. Some days the urge to just see Lauren, or to hear her say even one word is so strong, I can hardly bear it. For 17 years, one month and 19 days, I was blessed with a beautiful, loving daughter.
Thank you Irena Hill for the beautiful graphic
May this candle burn forever in memory of my beloved husband and daughter.
This was the last picture of Lauren and I taken together. Thank you Irena Hill, nanny of precious Kayleigh Erceg.
Lauren wrote the following poem for me. What could be a more precious gift from a daughter to her mother than the following:
Mama Bear
My best friend was always there for me when times got rough.
She was someone I could tell my secrets to and someone I could trust.
We shared our wishes, dreams, and fantasies,
We always liked the very same things.
We were together through laughter and together through tears.
For both of us, our friendship is so very dear.
When I needed help she was always there.
When I was upset, she always cared.
Sticking together through school years of hell,
I then knew that we were gonna be best friends always & forever.
Our friendship was like a fairy tale straight from a book.
Not a flaw anywhere, no matter where you looked,
the way a best friend should be forever and ever.
Our love so strong for one another
I'll always love my best friend, for she is my mother.
(©Lauren Pacenta 2005)
My mom is a survivor,
or so I've heard it said.
But I hear her crying late at night
when others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night
and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her
to help her understand.
But like the sands upon the beach
that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom,
who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...
A smile of disguise.
But through heaven's door
I see the tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death
to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her,
knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom...
Through heaven's open door
I try to tell her that angels
protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her
or eases the burden she bears.
If you get a chance, go and visit her...
and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...
No matter what she feels
My surviving mommy has
a broken heart
That time won't ever heal.
-Author Unknown
Precious Memorials - Thank you Teri Drebit it is a beautiful graphic
Precious Memorials - Thank you Teri Drebit it is another beautiful graphic
I wish you would not be afraid to speak Lauren’s name. She lived and was important and I need to hear her name.
If I cry and get emotional if we talk about Lauren,
that it isn't because you hurt me:
You have allowed me to cry and I thank you. Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.
I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. I wish you wouldn't
think that if I have a good cry my grief is all over, or that if I have a bad
day I need psychiatric counseling.
Being bereaved is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't stay away from me.
I wish you knew all the "crazy" grief reactions that I am having are in fact
very normal. Depression, anger, fear, hopelessness and questioning of
values and beliefs are to be expected following a death.
I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in 6 months or even a year. The first few
years are going to be exceedingly traumatic for me. As with alcoholics, I will never be "cured" or a "formerly bereaved", but forevermore be recovering from my bereavement.
I wish you understood the physical reaction to grief. I may gain weight, lose
weight, sleep all the time or not at all, develop a host of illnesses
and be accident prone, all of which are related to my grief.
Lauren’s birthday, the anniversary of her death and the holidays can
be terrible times for my family and me. I wish you could tell us that you are thinking
of us and Lauren on these days. And if we get quiet and withdrawn, just know
that we are thinking about Lauren and don't try to coerce us into being cheerful.
The only way I can get through this grief is
to experience it. I have to hurt before I can heal.
I wish you understood that grief changes people. I am not the same person I
was before my beloved Lauren died and I will never be that person again.
am a new creature with new thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values and
beliefs. Please try to get to know this different me -- I'm the one who'll be here from now on.
--Author unknown
Lauren's other sites:
Angelfamilies
Precious Memorials
http://www.lauren-pacenta.memory-of.com
