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Lauren's father

Lauren's father, Edward K. Pacenta, was born in New York, lived in New York and died in New York. He was the second of five children - two brothers and two sisters. He was two people, the one he showed to the outside world and the one he showed to us, Lauren and me. He was a kind, loving husband and father.

 

 

     Ed's first love (other than his family) was geology. When he first went to college he majored in geology. After two years in the army, he returned to college but this time majored in accounting. The practical side of him, wanted a career that would enable him to easily find a job and keep it. Geology continued to be his love. He worked for companies that gave him the opportunity to travel, tour mines, and bring back a fabulous collection of rocks. For Christmas he would request books, for example, for one Christmas he wanted "Roadside Geology of Pennsylvania". He was extremely intelligent and loved to debate. In fact he would often take the oppossing view, just for the sake of the debate. This did however annoy some of his friends. I learned early on, not to take him on in a debate, I knew I would lose. 

 

 

 

     Ed and his best friend and brother-in-law had a boat. I loved the boat and enjoyed the time we spent together on the water. I loved just watching him. Often they went offshore fishing, I seldom went along on these trips. They would also trailer the boat to North Carolina and fish for the week. Ed loved it and of course no women were invited. We learned how to make bluefish in various ways, we often had fresh lobster, maco shark, etc.  Ed was a fabulous chef and was so creative in the foods he made. He baked bread - not just bread, but pistachio bread, braided bread, and the list goes on. He would make a fruit salad, carefully layering the fruit. It looked too pretty to eat. He even pealed the grapes.... 

 

   

      As our friends began to marry, buy houses and start families, Ed and Roger decided to sell the boat. I think the only one who was disappointed was me. As much as he loved the boat, he used to call it " a hole in the water into which you poured money".  We found other ways to occupy our time - picnics for one, we played backgammon and for some reason I could seldom beat him.

 

     We had a shiz tsu. I played with this small dog and went to see her several times before purchasing her. She was so shy and cute. When I brought her home, she started doing flips, running around in circles and checking everything. This quiet, shy puppy had changed the moment I brought her home. I sat there watching her and wondering if I had made a mistake - until Ed came home. One look and they were friends.  He fed her, walked her and loved her. We bathed her and groomed her together. His friends used to tease him about walking around with a dust mop at the end of the leash. He didn't care, he loved the dog.  We took our small dog with us everywhere.  After Ed's death, Wickett would run to the living room at the same time every day hop, up on the back of the sofa and watch, waiting for Ed to come home. This went on for months, it was heartbreaking. Almost two years to the day following Ed's death, Wickett came up the stairs one night when I was putting Lauren to bed. She laid down and died. She had physical problems, she was 13 years old, and she had a broken heart, just like the rest of us. 

 

     When Lauren was born, Ed did everything he could for her and for me. He took care of the laundry, held her, fed her, cooked for us. He was so proud of his beautiful daughter.

 

 

 

 

 

    When Ed died, my mother-in-law said to me "No parent should ever have to bury their child." I was grieving the loss of my beloved husband and knew they were hurting too, but I never knew to what extent, until I too had to bury my child. Now they are together forever. Bless you my sweet angels.

Cindy Oliva September 11, 2014
 
My heart is in Tears
image My heart is in such tears. What a beautiful husband and little puppy that was in you life. They both had so much love for you. You and your husband also blessed with a beautiful daughter. I have no words to say. I have not lost my husband or my puppy. If that time comes before me, I get so weak just to think about it. I know my puppy will go at some time. She is 8 1/2 yrs old.  A little cockapoo, she has been a blessing to us since we lost Stephanie in Nov. Of 2005. Our Muffin came to us in May of 2006, she was born in Feb. of 06. I can not stand the thought of losing her. I send all my love with hugs and prayers to you my dear Jo-Ann. My heart feels so much for you. I have no words but a heart ache and tears. I pray for you  that God keeps sending you strength to carry on. 

We have quite a journey to travel and no map to find our way.
Our pain will never leave, it goes every where with us.
We carry a picture of our very dear loved ones in our hearts and mind
as we travel this journey.
Our Angels lived and we will continue to honor and keep
their memory alive.
This is what a mother and wife will do.
Our love will always be connected from here to heaven.
Cindy Oliva 

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